Queer Eye for the Cubs Guy

Let me preface this by saying that I'm not a big "team apparel" guy. I do own three Cubs hats (one for games, one for softball and one to wear whenever) and roughly the same number of t-shirts. (My Sosa Lumber Company shirt is falling apart, an apt metaphor.) But I wouldn't be buried in the above monstrosity even if I had an entire Cubs-related wardrobe. I honestly hope I see someone wearing this at Wrigley this year, as I look forward to hearing the abuse rained down upon him. Interested parties looking to waste $370 can purchase the jacket here.

Though I suppose the ensemble might work for, say, an 80-year-old, longtime diehard fan. You could then say he should know better, but that can be countered with the fact that he's a Cubs fan, so he's obviously devoid of a certain wisdom. And, to be sure, ugly as it is, it beats face painting.