Why Willie Nelson Can Blow Me

Why Willie Nelson Can Blow Me
by Robert Pollard*

Here’s what he said. I don’t even know the guy’s name. I’ll never say his name ’cause he sucks so bad.

He said the guy in matchbox twenty, that pussy, restored Willie Nelson’s faith in songwriting.

Fuck Willie Nelson!

See what I’m sayin’? He smokes too much dope, doesn’t he?

I’ll tell you what, all these alt.cunt....Alt.cunt. You know that genre, alt.cunt? Alt.country? That shit can blow me. Alt.country. Lyle Lovett and Sheryl Crow. What the fuck? Get a job!

I listen to fuckin’ rock and roll! T.Rex and the Who and shit! Get a grip!

I don’t get it, man. When you’ve got the fuckin’ whole god-damn royal jelly right on your fuckin’ plate and you’re going to listen to some alt.cunt. Come on. That’s why the world sucks.

You got Dubya and you got, uh, Lyle Lovett. Texas can fuckin’—no, I didn’t say that.

We just played there recently, and I told them, “I know you guys want to be your own country. If Guided By Voices made the decision to not to play anywhere but the great old U S of A, if you guys became a country, we’d make an exception for you.”

Sorry about that. But you know where I’m comin’ from.

You know where I’m comin’ from.

*spoken during GBV's final San Francisco show, the Fillmore, 11-13-04